


What The F*** Are You Doing With My Dog?!

by nsynclancefan



Category: Markiplier (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: I haven't written a piece of fan fiction in for EVER so DON'T JUDGE ME, Needed to do something in this empty summer that is my life, The story very much so continues on in my head...but it may never continue on paper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-26 05:04:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7561531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nsynclancefan/pseuds/nsynclancefan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mark is left speechless, a part of him wanting to scream and the other feeling the need to roll over and submit. After a few seconds to think over his previous actions, he takes a few steps back and repeats his question with less swears and judgment marinating his voice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What The F*** Are You Doing With My Dog?!

**Author's Note:**

> Editing? What is this "editing" you speak of? (I wrote, I posted, and now I go back to doing nothing. Be glad you have _something_.)

It is rather surprising how much of a difference a dog can have in one’s life. For example, sometimes they can sniff out that cancerous tumor that is growing in your leg, or maybe they bark at you, moments before your trachea swells shut because of those peanuts that you accidentally ingested. In Mark’s case, he was wasting high amount of gas this month because his golden retriever, deemed Chica, couldn’t resist reenacting The Escapist every time he forgets to shut the front door fully.

While he was roaming the surrounding neighborhoods, calling out, “Chica Beaka!” in the most girlish and baby talk way possible for his baritone voice, Chica was at the bottom of the hill (in the opposite direction Mark decided to look) being smothered in love by a woman and her niece.

“Angelica, I am pretty sure your parents warned you about charging up to strange dogs.”

“But this one is cute and nice!”

“Well you just got lucky this time. Next time we run into a random animal, let me do the interacting first.” The woman squats down and rubs either side of the dog’s face with her hands, babbling nothingness in as deep voice she can muster.

Angelica giggles, “Can we keep it?”

The woman snorts, “Hell no.”

“Why not?”

“This dog belongs to someone. Look, it has a collar.” The woman twists the collar around until she finds the various tags attached to it. “Hmm, no number… ‘Chica’ is your name, huh? Where have I…” The woman drifts off in thought, looking at the other tags. “There is an address here,” She turns her head around, looking for street signs and house numbers. “Seems to me she isn’t too far from home, just up this hill should do it.” The woman stands. “Let us take her home to her family, Angelica.”

The young girl sighs, “Alright.” Pout, she makes a small fist around the dog’s collar as her aunt calls the dog up the hill. She walks alongside Chica, guiding them out of the barren street and onto the sidewalk.

Several houses up, and multiple coasting’s of the dog out of yards, they reach the address on the collar. Angelica sits in the yard with Chica while her aunt knocks on the door.

“Damn it, no answer.” She peers through the tinted side windows along the door. “I see… absolutely nothing.” Turning her head, she inspects the driveway. “Maybe the car is in the garage?” She knocks one more time. When no one answers, she walks over to her niece.

“No one home?” She asks, squinting up at her, the L.A. sun blaring over their heads.

“Nope. Why don’t we wait a little bit and if no one shows up, we will have to take Chica back with us and I will leave a note of their door.”

Angelica grins, “Okay!” Excited to spend time with the adorable dog, she quickly gets up and looks for something to play fetch with her. The woman lays down in the grass, shielding her eyes from the sun, while her niece poorly tosses a stick around, happily preoccupying the big puppy.

Meanwhile, Mark swears up a storm in his vehicle when he finishes his loop, begging Hell to have his dog back at his house when he gets back or there with be Heaven to pay.

15 minutes later, the woman and her niece are leaving a note with a number on the back of their lunch receipt written in the lone red crayon Angelica had in her back pocket. Setting it in the middle of the mat, so the owner will find it, with a rock on top, to keep it from blowing away, they step off of the porch with Chica.

“Hope her owner’s find the note soon. I don’t want to have to buy dog food,” The woman mumbles to herself as she guides Chica and Angelica across the lawn to the sidewalk. Before they can go any farther, a blue car pulls into the driveway and a very angry half-Asian red head steps out.

“What the fuck are you doing with my dog?” He screeches. Angelica quickly let go of Chica and hides behind her aunt, who is staring at the man with a mix of humor a shame on her face. “Chica, get over here!” With a snap of his finger, she trots over to her owner, sitting by his side and panting up at him with apologetic eyes. “You are in big trouble, missy. Stay there.”

When he marches over to the females, the older one instantly puts her arms around the smaller one in protection, unsure of how he will interact with them. All he does is stare down at the older woman, waiting for a response. When nothing comes out of her mouth, he repeats himself, “Well? What in the flying fuck were you doing walking off with my dog?”

The older woman blinks, “I am not answering anything until you take two steps away from me and talk to me in a grown up voice." 

Mark is left speechless, a part of him wanting to scream and the other feeling the need to roll over and submit. After a few seconds to think over his previous actions, he takes a few steps back and repeats his question with less swears and judgment marinating his voice.

“We were on a walk after having lunch when he came across this adorable golden retriever sniffing around a stop sign at the bottom of the hill.”

“You were at the bottom of the hill this entire time?” Mark shrieks, glaring at Chica who lays down on the hot cement in embarrassment.

“Anyways,” the woman continues, waiting for the man to turn his attention back to her, “My niece couldn’t resist the urge to pet the fluffy adorableness,” In response to that Angelica giggles and the man looks behind the woman. She quickly stops and steps closer to her aunt, whose arms close around her tighter. “I looked for a phone number, there was none, but we found the tag with an address, so we brought her back up here. No one answered, we waited 15 minutes, and since no one showed we put a note on the porch and were going to take her somewhere safer than the middle of a residential neighborhood street.”

Mark rubs his face, sighing heavily at his stupid and outright rude conclusion he made the moment he saw the two females walking off his porch with his precious puppy. He looks at them, and then at Chica, who perks up in hope of forgiveness. “Come here Chica Beaka.” He taps his hands against his thighs and she trots over, jumping up on his chest and licking his face. Mark here the young girl giggle, looking over to seeing the older woman still guarding her.

When Chica finishes her kisses of apology, Mark stands upright and walks a bit closer to the woman. “I am terrible sorry for my actions. There is no excuse for my behavior. I immediately jumped the gun and assumed the worse. I’m sorry.”

The woman studies his face carefully, a small smirk growing on her face. Mark sees this and gets confused.

“What?” He asks, looking down at himself to make sure Chica didn’t rip his shirt again.

“Its endearing how protective you are of her, just like I am protective of Angelica here. Guess you could say both of our primal instincts kicked in when we saw our young in danger. However, it would be less hilarious if it was a child and not your dog you were acting ape shit about.” She chuckles and Angelica gasps.

“You said a bad word!”

The woman turns to look at her. “I think it was an appropriate use of the word considering what he just did, don’t you?”

Angelica thinks to her herself, looking at the confused red haired man. “He was super scary.”

Mark’s confusion is replaced with sadness. “I am sorry, Angelica is it?” The older woman nods. “I am actually really happy that you found my dog and took care of her. We both appreciate it. I’m not normally a scary guy.”

Angelica steps out from behind her aunt and tentatively walks over to Chica, petting her head.  Chica responds with a lick to her face and Angelica laughs, Mark chuckling in a baritone echo. The woman watches on with a smile.

Suddenly, Chica runs across the yard to pick up the stick she was playing with earlier. For a split second Mark panics, thinking she is taking off again, but when he sees he sit down with the stick in her mouth, he sighs in relief. Angelica runs after her, taking the stick out of her mouth and, again, poorly throwing it a few feet in front of her. Chica immediately picks it up and offers it to her again.

Mark chuckles, “That dog will be the death of me.”

“Welcoming to parenting,” the woman says, appearing next to him and patting his shoulder.”

“How old is your daughter?”

The woman snorts, “She is my niece, and she is 5.”

Mark blushes, “Oops, I didn’t mean to imply anything about your age or anything, she just looks like you.”

“She looks like my sister, actually, who I happen to look like,” She looks at the man, “And no offense to my age was taken, I just find it funny when people think she is mine.”

They are quiet for a bit, watching Angelica and Chica play.

“I know your niece’s name, but not yours.” Mark looks at her, studying her ginger hair freckles in the setting sunlight.

“Jordyn.” She offers her hand to him. “And your Mark Fischbach.”

Mark freezes mid freckle counting and looks into her eyes. “Uh…”

“Oh chill, my sister watches your videos more than I do. I have been way too busy to enjoy the pleasures of Youtube these past few years. I only remembered your name a few moments ago when you laughed.”

Mark smirks, “I will never be able to escape my unique laugh.”

“And you shouldn’t, it’s absolutely adorable,” she smiles and winks at him.

Mark coughs.

“Aunty, can we go home now? I’m sleepy.” Angelica rubs one of her eyes and yawns. Jordyn checks her watch and gasps.

“Damn, it's later than I thought. I’m late for my own nap.” She smiles and pats Mark’s shoulder again. “Well come on sleepy head, we have some ways to walk to get back to the car.”

“I can drive you,” Mark offers, half shocked that he said that out loud, but not as shocked as Jordyn is when she looks at him. “It’s the least I can do after scaring the crap out of you two earlier.” 

“Which was an automatic response to us scaring the crap out of you.”

Mark shrugged, “Yeah, well, you can’t control primal instincts.” He smiles. “Let me get Chica inside and I will drive you to your car.” He calls Chica over and leads her to the front porch. Oblivious to the note left on the porch, he steps next to it to unlock and door and usher the puppy inside. He shuts and locks it before walking over to his car. “Hop in!”

A couple minutes later, Mark pulls along the side of the road next to the community park behind the yellow bug that belongs to Jordyn.

“Thank you for the ride. It saved me from having to carry her all that way.” Jordyn turns her head behind her and finds her niece fast asleep against the window. “Okay, that needs a picture.” Quickly pulling out her phone, she takes a snapshot of her niece to send to her parents, and then a second with Mark in the picture just for the hell of it. He smiles as obnoxiously as possible, making Jordyn laugh in a soprano echo, which makes Mark laugh in a baritone echo, which startles Angelica awake.

“Oh, I’m sorry sweet heart! We just got back to the car. Why don’t you thank Mark here for the ride?” Jordyn says, unbuckling herself and reaching over to unbuckle her niece.

“Thank you Marky,” she mumbles sleepily, opening the door and stepping out onto the sidewalk. Mark and Jordyn step out as well, Jordyn heading to her car to unlock it and Mark ushering the sleeping girl up the sidewalk to her next sleeping location.

“Thank you again for the ride Mark,” Jordyn says after buckling Angelica into her car seat and shutting the door. “It saved me a back ache.”

Mark smiles from next to her. “No problem!” He walks around her and opens the driver door for her. “Thank you for watching Chica while I was rage driving around the neighborhood.”

Jordyn chuckles and pats his cheeks before settling into the car. Mark gently shuts the door, waving through the window as she starts the engine. She waves back before driving away.

As Mark gets back into his car, the realization hit him and screamed out a loud, “FUCK!” He rubbed his face. “I never got her number.”

 

*~*

 

Jordyn had just stepped out of the shower late that night when her phone vibrates. Expecting it to be her sister or brother-in-law replying to their daughter’s adorableness, she picks it up, only to find that the there is no name to the number and all it says is, _“Thank fucking god.”_ A part of her wants to respond, but she decides to let the idiot figure out their mistake instead.

An hour later, face glued to the television in the living room, her phone goes off again.

_“Oops, you probably thought that was some weirdo earlier lol”_

Again, Jordyn is confused. Before she can send off a reply, a picture shows up and all she can do is laugh.

_“Well, Mark, you technically qualify as a weirdo”_

_“Hahaha I know can’t help myself”_

_“I forgot I left my number on your porch (or maybe I didn’t lol)”_

Jordyn internally slaps herself for the added flirtation, picturing the horrified looks that must be appearing on Mark’s face as he reads it.

_“Forgot to ask for your number, that was why I said thank fucking god because thank fucking god I didn’t royally screw up”_

Jordyn arches an eye brow, well, tries to at least. No one could see it, so it didn’t matter whether she could pull it off or not.

_“Screw up what?”_

_“Meeting you”_

Jordyn blushed, giggling like a school girl, biting her bottom lip. She may have had some caffeine prior to their conversation, so she was a bit wacky at the moment.

_“Aww how sweet :D”_

_“Can I take you to dinner tomorrow? Lunch? Brunch? Linner? Hell, breakfast?”_

_“Mmmmmm, brunch…. *drooling noises*”_

_“Brunch it is. Can’t wait. I will text you where and when… when I know where and when”_

_“Lol can’t wait”_

With that, the conversation was over, and Jordyn went to bed with a big smile on her face. “Hope he isn’t too bummed this obvious date will turn out to be a ‘forgive me for being scary’ brunch with Angelica.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know Mark uses text lingo, I have seen his tweets, but I am a lazy person who doesn't want to waste time putting his texts through an Interweb machine that will spit out that chopped up gobbly gook.
> 
> Overall, hope I made your day a bit brighter with this.


End file.
